Pandora Bov

 

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

 

"I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at
what time I want and I don’t expect any hassle from you.  I expect a
great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for
dinner.  I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I
want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules.  Any comments?"

 

His new bride said, "No, that’s fine with me.
Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every
night ….whether you’re here or not."

 
(DAMN! SHE’S GOOD!)

 

************************************

 Marriage (Part II)

 
Husband and wife had a bitter
quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

 

The husband yells, "When you
die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads:

"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As
Ever "
 

"Yeah?" she replies.
"When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads:

"Here Lies My Husband -
Stiff At Last"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

****************************** 

 Marriage (Part III)

 

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are
having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and
says, "And you are no good in

bed either," and storms out of
the house.

 

After some time, he realizes he was
nasty and decides to make ammends and rings her up.  She comes to the
phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so
long to answer the phone?"

 

She says, "I was in bed."
 

"In bed this early, doing
what?"
 

"Getting a second
opinion!"

 

(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)

 

******************************************

 Marriage  (Part IV)

 

A man has six children and is very
proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he
starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her
objections.

 

One night, they go to a party.
The man decides that it’s time to go home and wants to find out if his
wife is ready to leave as well.

 

He shouts at the top of his voice,
"Shall we go home ‘Mother of Six?’

 

His wife, irritated by her husband’s
lack of discretion, shouts right back,"Anytime you’re ready,
Father of Four."

 (RIGHT ON, LADY!)

 **************************************

 Marriage  (Part V)   The
Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some
problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake
him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight.

 

Not wanting to be the first to break
the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake
me at 5:00 am"  He left itwhere he knew she would find it.

 

The next morning the man woke up,
only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed.  The

paper said, "It is 5:00 AM.
Wake up."

 

Men are not equipped for these kinds
of contests.

 

**************************************

 

God may have created man before woman, but there is
always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

 

 

SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN
HANDLE